First Impressions

Copied from my previous blog, written on May 4th, 2010.

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I’ve never been one to be nervous before an interview. Nor does it usually phase me to meet new people or talk to a stranger. But meeting the people who have chosen you to carry their child? BALL OF NERVES, man.

We had scheduled a meeting on Skype for 9:30 last night, which was to be our first time ever conversing without our agency’s social worker as a go-between. So at 9, I fixed my hair and put on eyeliner and scoured my closet, cursing under my breath that I never friggin’ have anything to wear. I sat at the kitchen table at 9:17, and did fidgety things like adjust the lighting (and by adjust I mean I made my husband take a couple bulbs out of the overhead light) to remove a weird color cast on the webcam. I was texting with my friend C and she told me I was “special.”

Maybe I am. But dudes. Skype is WAY more intimidating than a phone call for a first conversation. They can SEE. YOU. That means they can see if you obsessively twirl your hair or do that subconscious rocking-the-baby thing that seems to be ingrained in all moms. They could see me, and I wanted to make a good first impression.

At exactly 9:30, the “phone” rang. I took a deep breath. Clicked answer. And looking back at me were two amazing guys whose sweet nature immediately calmed my nerves.

The words flowed easily after the first couple awkward minutes, and we talked and laughed together for over an hour. They were so easy to love, which is how I always hoped and envisioned the couple I am matched with. It was the first conversation of what I hope is many, many more. And it was awesome.

How do you describe talking to the people whose child will be implanted in your womb and entrusted in your care? They would be putting their faith in me to protect what will become the most important, sacred thing in their lives. Seriously? That’s just cool. Completely, absolutely cool and I am honored and cannot wait to let this journey begin.